The best Irish sayings
by Steve on Apr.07, 2006, under Humour, Ireland
Got this in my mail today, thought it was funny, best ones highlighted in bold:
I’m as sick as a small hospital.
I’m so hungry I’d eat a small child.
She had a face on her like a well slapped arse.
You’re as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.
My mouth’s as dry as a nuns crack.
He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup.
He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician.
As funny as a burning orphanage.
He’s so camp, he sh1ts tent pegs.
I’m as sick as a plane to Lourdes.
I feel like a boiled sh1te (hungover).
(when leaving) I’m off like a debs dress.
She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn.
As busy as the Dalkey dole office.
Sweatin’ like a paedophile in a Barney suit.
As tight as a nun’s knickers.
I’m so horny I’d get up on the crack of dawn.
I’d crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.
Up and down like a hoor’s knickers.
No show pony but would do for a ride around the house.
Did your mother find out who your father is yet?
What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt.
I left her with a face like a painters radio.
A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard.
Jaysus, she could breastfeed a crèche.
As fit as a butcher’s dog.
She’s got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Not even the tide would take her out.
Mother Teresa wouldn’t kiss her.
Daz wouldn’t shift her.
Des Kelly wouldn’t lay her.
A sniper wouldn’t take her out.
Jaysus, ya wouldn’t ride her into battle.
If I’d a bag of bruised willies I wouldn’t give her one.
She has a face on her like a bulldog that’s just licked piss off a nettle.
She wouldn’t get a kick in a stampede.
She had a fanny like a badly packed kebab.
If I’d a garden full of mickeys I wouldn’t let her look over the wall.
Give her a boot in the arse and a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her.
April 9th, 2006 on 20:38
heh, it seems Google ads does not like this post at all.
May 11th, 2006 on 21:02
shes as bright as a five watt bulb
January 22nd, 2008 on 09:16
She has a head like a well wanked cock
April 21st, 2008 on 19:50
theres wiser eating grass in a field
April 21st, 2008 on 19:51
shes a fanny like a ripped out fireplace
April 24th, 2008 on 17:49
She has the personality of a door bell.
June 1st, 2008 on 06:33
a second class ride is better than a 1st class w*nk lol
October 29th, 2008 on 18:55
howya…………………….
March 7th, 2009 on 19:15
He cud charm the knickers of sister thersa lol
March 29th, 2009 on 12:27
sweatin like a knacker in a spellin test
March 29th, 2009 on 12:28
a face only a mother could love
April 6th, 2009 on 16:35
she’s as dry as a nun’s crack! lol
May 31st, 2009 on 01:52
A lads remember in dodgeball when yer man says
“he’s about as useful as a cock flavoured lollypop!!!”
now that’s funny!
July 4th, 2009 on 01:31
Shes so ugly the tide wouldnt give her wave!
October 17th, 2009 on 17:30
Your about as much use as a knitted condom
October 23rd, 2009 on 22:15
I’m so awake with the hunger i’d lick the arse off a low flying duck!
October 27th, 2009 on 21:59
you’d suck the farts outta her arse!
November 3rd, 2009 on 19:26
i’m so hungry that i’d eat a nun arse through a convent gate haha
November 13th, 2009 on 15:47
She has a face my dog wouldn’t lick !!
November 22nd, 2009 on 15:31
I wouldn’t ride him if he had pedals
November 30th, 2009 on 19:38
“hes as tight as a camels arsh in a sandstorm”
November 30th, 2009 on 19:39
she has a face on her bet with da back end of a shovel
December 2nd, 2009 on 21:02
I’d suck the cock of the last fella to ride her just to get a taste.
December 8th, 2009 on 17:17
I’d set her on a skatboard and lick her from here to newcastle
December 8th, 2009 on 17:19
I’ve seen smaller asses pullin a cart
December 8th, 2009 on 18:04
She could eat a apple through a letterbox
December 8th, 2009 on 18:05
She could suck a watermelon through a hosepipe
January 29th, 2010 on 03:29
she’s a face on her like a bulldog chewing on a wasp
id eat a mile of shite to get to her arse
shes so ugly the tide wouldnt take her out
she has an arse on her like two eggs in a hankey
January 29th, 2010 on 03:35
that chaps a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic