Feckoff.net

I saw this mentioned on a thread at boards.ie. For easily amused toilet humour fans like myself, it makes a few minutes of fun reading. Very informative! Here’s some snippets:

For acute situations, it is recommended to spread the buttocks, so as to stretch open the sphincter while the gas is passed. This is best accomplished by sitting on one buttock, shifting body weight laterally, then putting the body weight on the other buttock. The opening will not snap shut and the passage will be silent. If done incorrectly, however, this may result in a characteristic high-pitched squeal.
f sitting on a cushioned surface, the gases can be directed into the open-cell polyurethane foam and somewhat quarantined. Following the fart, standing will not release the odour, in fact, the gases will be further pushed to the centre of the cushion. The gases will not leak out and be detectable, unless the cushion is compressed again under the weight of another person. The use of this phenomenon as a practical joke is obvious.

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Activated charcoal underwear and pads can be somewhat effective at reducing the odours of flatulence, but these products do not muffle the sound. Additional security can be obtained with common deodorizers and perfumes. Care should be taken to select a perfume that combats the odour, with floral and citrus notes, instead of musk, which would complement the offending odour.

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In many cultures, excessive human flatulence is regarded as embarrassing and impolite, even to the point of being a taboo subject; and hence a natural subject for toilet humour.

People will often strain to hold in a fart when in polite company, or position themselves to conceal the noise and smell of a fart using the techniques mentioned above.

Flatulence can be considered humorous to some people, either due to the scent or the sounds produced. Some find humor in lighting farts, which is possible due to the presence of flammables, such as methane, though the process is very dangerous and can result in internal anal combustion.

Hahahaha!

In Dante’s Divine Comedy, the last line of Inferno Chapter XXI reads: ed elli avea del cul fatto trombetta (”and he used his ass as a trumpet”), in the last example the use of this natural body function underlined a demoniac condition.

In Chaucer’s “Miller’s Tale” (one of the Canterbury Tales), the character Nicholas hangs his arse out a window and farts in the face of his rival Absolom. Absolom then sears Nicholas’s bum with a red-hot poker. (Lines 690-707)

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Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford farted while swearing loyalty to Queen Elizabeth I, and consequently went into self-imposed exile for seven years.